On the Outside

I see the people walking by, in their clusters of friends.
I hear them talking, laughing, arguing. Everyone contributing to the conversation, making it a noisy mess of words to an outsider.
I see them on their phones, calling, texting; oblivious to everything around them except their friends in the device.
I see all the habits of people; biting their nails, playing with their hair. Tapping a pencil while reading, listening to music to help them concentrate.
It's amazing what you can observe when you're on the outside looking in.

I see people at meals, sitting quiet and alone. Until their group comes along, and the talking, laughing, yelling begins again.
I can never quite make out the specific conversations from the various groups around me. It's all a mass of noise I am not involved in making.
Even at my group, I still notice the little things people do. The awkward laugh when someone says something uncomfortable, the rolling of one's eyes at an idiotic comment.
Even among people, I am still on the outside looking in.

All around me, people carry on with their conversations. They're oblivious to everything else, including me.
My friends are oblivious too, they carry on conversations I can't contribute to without a second thought.
I sit by them in silence, hoping the conversation may shift to something, anything, else. Yet it never does.
I am on the outside looking in. In every situation, I am on the outside.Be it strangers or friends, acquaintances or family, I am on the outside of every situation.

I wonder what the inside feels like. I guess I'll never know.